etiquette

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As the Last Single Woman in America (cue the ballad “All by Myself”) you think I’d be impervious to attempts to call me out on my chronic singleness but you’d be wrong. Recently I was at a function, surrounded by ...
Long May She Rage!

The Last Single Woman in America Strikes Back

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As the Last Single Woman in America (cue the ballad “All by Myself”) you think I’d be impervious to attempts to call me out on my chronic singleness but you’d be wrong. Recently I was at a function, surrounded by people, when someone who had only recently left the state of chronic singleness herself actually [&hellip
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Life should come with some sort of user’s manual or FAQ guide. As it is, we’re left wandering alone and helpless when it comes to the world’s trickiest situations. No, I’m not talking about figuring out what you ...
How to Deal With Awkwardness

When I Am Queen of Everything: Ball-busting

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Life should come with some sort of user’s manual or FAQ guide. As it is, we’re left wandering alone and helpless when it comes to the world’s trickiest situations. No, I’m not talking about figuring out what you should do with the rest of your life or answering the question “why were any of us [&hellip
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Chicken Sexer Snake Milker Train Stuffer Cow Fart Smeller Hair Boiler Vomit Collector Body Farm Collector Panda Fluffer These are all real jobs, namely disturbing and odd jobs involving the smelling, eating, or ...
We Need Them

Weird Jobs and More

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Chicken Sexer Snake Milker Train Stuffer Cow Fart Smeller Hair Boiler Vomit Collector Body Farm Collector Panda Fluffer These are all real jobs, namely disturbing and odd jobs involving the smelling, eating, or picking of grotesque things. These made me ponder jobs that may not exist now, but we have a need for. Consequently, throughout [
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It’s that time of year again. The lead-up to Valentine’s Day typically finds me drinking (too much) whiskey and/or red wine and singing “I Can’t Make You Love Me” or (God help me) “All by Myself” in a ...
Play It Safe This VD. Avoid TV, Movies, Restaurants, and for God's Sake the Hallmark Channel

Rules of Engagement

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It’s that time of year again. The lead-up to Valentine’s Day typically finds me drinking (too much) whiskey and/or red wine and singing “I Can’t Make You Love Me” or (God help me) “All by Myself” in a depressing and off-key manner. Meanwhile my faithful, furry friend rolls his eyes at my pitifulness. So it’s [&hellip
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The Snap This may surprise some readers but we are etiquette and evasion experts here at The Snap Download. We’ve already helped thousands with office manners, awkward situations, and rules for wedding havers and goers. ...
Would You Excuse Me? I Cut My Foot and My Shoe Is Filling With Blood.

When I Am Queen of Everything: The Closer

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The Snap This may surprise some readers but we are etiquette and evasion experts here at The Snap Download. We’ve already helped thousands with office manners, awkward situations, and rules for wedding havers and goers. We’ve been asking ourselves how can we continue to help the people (and simultaneously ditch our bureaucratic day jo
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The Snap: Seeing the most awesome business card in the history of mankind reminded me that it’s been a year since I decided my destiny is to become Queen of Everything. I have “the most influential man in China” ...
I Was Born To Have Minions

When I Am Queen of Everything: A Retrospective

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The Snap: Seeing the most awesome business card in the history of mankind reminded me that it’s been a year since I decided my destiny is to become Queen of Everything. I have “the most influential man in China” (AKA “the most charismatic philanthropist in China”) to thank for reinvigorating my desire to reign supreme [&hellip
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The Snap: Have you ever worked in an office that you were pretty sure was a diabolical, psychological experiment to see how much test subjects could tolerate before they totally lost their minds? You know, one where you ...
Napping Your Way To Glory

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

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The Snap: Have you ever worked in an office that you were pretty sure was a diabolical, psychological experiment to see how much test subjects could tolerate before they totally lost their minds? You know, one where you allegedly had a purpose or function but at the end of the day, you had no idea [&hellip
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The Snap: As important dates approach for Congress in terms of making me want to hit myself in the head with a ballpeen hammer, I've been thinking about how many politicians are awful gasbags. Since I’m still on vaycay ...
We Are The Saudi Arabia of Natural Gas

OUR FATHER WHO FARTS IN HEAVEN

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The Snap: As important dates approach for Congress in terms of making me want to hit myself in the head with a ballpeen hammer, I’ve been thinking about how many politicians are awful gasbags. Since I’m still on vaycay and in a near constant state of intoxication, that makes me think about the vast stores [&hellip
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The Snap: Unsure what to say to your future mother-in-law the first time you see her after her face lift? Catch your friend’s husband picking his nose and flicking it into the guacamole? Don’t know how to respond to ...
I'm Also Working on a Series of Awkward Greeting Cards

DEAR QUEEN OF EVERYTHING: ADVICE FOR AWKWARD SITUATIONS

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The Snap: Unsure what to say to your future mother-in-law the first time you see her after her face lift? Catch your friend’s husband picking his nose and flicking it into the guacamole? Don’t know how to respond to receiving a hideous planter for your birthday? Crap your pants on the shuttle to the amusement [&hellip
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