Posts by Adrienne Boettinger

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Let’s take an informal poll: can we get a show of hands for who thinks Muslims are more violent and less trustworthy than Christians, Jews, Hindus, other religions or atheists? According to the Pew Research Center, that ...
Though Your Kids Are Probably Way Smarter Than You, So Just Teach Yourselves

Muslim: Teach Your Kids It’s Not a Dirty Word

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Let’s take an informal poll: can we get a show of hands for who thinks Muslims are more violent and less trustworthy than Christians, Jews, Hindus, other religions or atheists? According to the Pew Research Center, that number is alarmingly high and has been for a while. But here’s the kicker: for those of you [&hellip
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As our nation’s capital prepares for the pomp and circumstance of a papal visit (and I prepare to spend most of my week sitting in traffic), I’ve been thinking about Pope Francis and the sentiment he has inspired. To ...
Will I Get to Drive the Pope Mobile?

The Pope of Hope?

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As our nation’s capital prepares for the pomp and circumstance of a papal visit (and I prepare to spend most of my week sitting in traffic), I’ve been thinking about Pope Francis and the sentiment he has inspired. To paraphrase eleventy gazillion pundits, the Pope has favorability ratings that the presidential candidates would sell th
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I’ve wanted to go to Iceland for a really long time. To be specific, I’ve now spent half of my life wanting to go there. It started not too long after my high school graduation when one of my best friends and I thought ...
Blue Mud, Butter, Booze and Benevolence

Iceland: Land of Something

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I’ve wanted to go to Iceland for a really long time. To be specific, I’ve now spent half of my life wanting to go there. It started not too long after my high school graduation when one of my best friends and I thought everything in the world would be perfect if we could just [&hellip
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You know how everyone keeps saying American schools spend too much time prepping students for testing? Well, there are many politicians and pundits who need to get in on that action. Because if we have to listen to one more ...
God Don't Like Stupid

Analogies for Asshats

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You know how everyone keeps saying American schools spend too much time prepping students for testing? Well, there are many politicians and pundits who need to get in on that action. Because if we have to listen to one more asshat compare Kim Davis to a hero or courageous conviction-holder, we’re gonna come at them [&hellip
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Do you remember back when everyone was sure the Donald’s campaign would fizzle out before summer’s end? That was around when Hillary was the presumed Democratic nominee? It seems like so long ago and yet here we are. ...
I'm Seriously Pisstified

What The Hillary?!?

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Do you remember back when everyone was sure the Donald’s campaign would fizzle out before summer’s end? That was around when Hillary was the presumed Democratic nominee? It seems like so long ago and yet here we are. I’ve given up waiting for the former to happen so let’s take a look at the latter. [&hellip
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Listening to BuzzFeed’s Internet Explorer recently, I got a searing pain in my right eye. Not because they were talking about piggy poop balls (this is a thing) but because one host said pityingly to the other something ...
'Cuz Your Life Is So Shitty and Sad

Thank God I’m Not You

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Listening to BuzzFeed’s Internet Explorer recently, I got a searing pain in my right eye. Not because they were talking about piggy poop balls (this is a thing) but because one host said pityingly to the other something along the lines of “Thank God I’m not single!” This is something I get a lot when [&hellip
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Can you feel the excitement in the air? Me neither. But the calendar tells me we’re fast approaching something important. No, it’s not Labor Day and the end of summer (or even the return of Stephen Colbert to late ...
What's the Latest Crisis About Anyway?

Countdown to Nothing

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Can you feel the excitement in the air? Me neither. But the calendar tells me we’re fast approaching something important. No, it’s not Labor Day and the end of summer (or even the return of Stephen Colbert to late night). I’m talking about the imminent return to Capitol Hill by the esteemed members of the [&hellip
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A mysterious malady has overtaken former Target shoppers. After going into stores and seeing the signs designating “boys” and “girls” had been removed from the toy and bedding departments, these shoppers have ...
Or Seriously Evil, Or Something

Target Is The Devil

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A mysterious malady has overtaken former Target shoppers. After going into stores and seeing the signs designating “boys” and “girls” had been removed from the toy and bedding departments, these shoppers have experienced shortness of breath, chest pains, uncontrollable bursts of anger and of course, anal leakage. The conditions ty
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I talk a lot about how I will eventually become Queen of Everything (QoE). For the wildly uninformed, that is not an actual job. I cannot pass a test to be declared QoE, nor could I win an election to gain the title. I ...
And What Else Could We Do With That Money?

Why Do Elections Cost So Much?

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I talk a lot about how I will eventually become Queen of Everything (QoE). For the wildly uninformed, that is not an actual job. I cannot pass a test to be declared QoE, nor could I win an election to gain the title. I imagine I will simply awaken one day to find everyone has [&hellip
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