Where Did All The Grown-ups Go?

Where Did All The Grown-ups Go?

Adrienne BoettingerTuesday,19 April 2016

“He’s a lying liar!”

“She started it!”

“They’re not being fair!”

“It looks like he peed his pants!”

“He’s a loser!”

No, you’re not overhearing a fight at recess because schools have all canceled recess so America’s children will get better at life’s most important skills like filling in those little bubbles on test answer sheets. The whines above represented tidbits and repeated phrases from the never-ending 2016 Presidential campaign festival of pain.

It’s true that past presidential campaigns haven’t always brought out the best in our would-be elected leaders (or in ourselves). But this current one takes the cake. Or rather spits all over the cake so no one else can have any. Seriously, I’m not even sure it’s possible for the candidates to behave more like brats…oh crap on a spatula! I’ve probably jinxed it and now they’ll sink to even lower lows. I’m almost ready for Trumpykins to threaten to hold his breath ‘til his face turns blue and throw himself on the ground, pounding his tiny little fists and kicking until RNC Chairman Reince Priebus stops being such a meanie and making all these new, terrible rules designed to steal the election from Donald J. Drumpf.

To be fair (a major complaint of this campaign season), Trump isn’t alone. They’re all acting like big doodyheads. Even Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton, who had more or less behaved in a mostly civilized manner up until fairly recently, are now only like 2 steps away from sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming “I can’t hear you!” every time the other tries to speak at a debate.

But this is what we want, right? This is what we applaud and boost in ratings. Would we actually pay attention if the debates were less like a classic fight on a reality show or daytime talk show and more like the Lincoln-Douglas debates when a candidate would open with an hour-long speech, followed by the other candidate speaking for 1.5 hours, and then the first would get 30 minutes of rebuttal? Doubtful. No advertisers would pay for such an event and no channel or media outlet would host it.

Maybe since the candidates are busy behaving like toddlers in need of a nap or junior high school bullies, we should treat them like it. Were I Queen of Everything right this very minute, I’d send all the candidates to the punishment step. They are in need of a major time-out – with the Donald needing the most time and behavioral adjustment. Then maybe they could learn to use their words, answer questions clearly and respectfully when asked, and stop behaving like a pack of whiny babies. Oops! Sorry, babies. The candidates are way worse than you and far less cute.

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Hat Tips:

The Atlantic , Politico, CNN, Washington Post, U.S. News and World Report, National Park Service

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