Top 15 Reasons Spouses Shouldn’t Talk Politics

Top 15 Reasons Spouses Shouldn’t Talk Politics

Lauren PesinFriday,5 February 2016

With the 2016 election cycle heating up, so is our tendency to spout off our brilliant political prose. But perhaps we should refrain from engaging in such dialogue with our significant other for the following reasons.

1. Rules of Relationship Engagement (RORE) don’t apply in political battles. When couples discuss standard relationship issues, such as schedules and where to go to dinner, couples usually remain cordial. Note: RORE does not apply to discussions surrounding sex, divisions of labor, or money.

2. Google is a never-ending supply of ammunition. Unlimited weapons mean the war may never end, even if you barter for a voluntary cease-fire.

3. Two human beings (even spouses) typically don’t (ever) agree on everything.

4. Politics and marriage don’t make good bedfellows. Sex always becomes the issue, ultimately ending in promises or threats pertaining to special favors, which is the ultimate political pressure.

5. It could end in divorce, or at the very least, a period of silence or chilly seclusion.

6. You may discover things you can’t un-know.

7. Unlike social media, you can’t (or are very unlikely to) unfriend, remain silent or unfollow.

8. Ardent debate causes conflict, which equals pissed off people.

9. There is no exit strategy. It’s not good if you are living in the same house and certainly not good if you share a bed and bath.

10. You may not share a voting booth, but you may share a ride there. Awkward.

11. Ultimately, a domestic political debate is a showdown.

12. Fists of fury have been known to follow heated words.

13. It’s impossible to prove an opinion, even if you have a lifetime to do it.

14. If applicable, children are better off not seeing a pissing contest between their otherwise responsible parents.

15. Nobody likes finger pointing.

Disclaimer: These situations may not result if you are the rare and probably imaginary couple that are in 100% agreement on all political issues (not likely, but possible); or in the instance of a lackadaisical pair holding no opinions on or desire to learn about political issues; or in a situation when at least half of the couple are mute (even then, there’s always angry sign language); or are chemically altered (perhaps due to a grueling presidential debate or caucus). If both parties are drunk, the above reasons likely may apply with an added bonus of domestic violence.

Multiple reasons listed also apply to friendships (real ones and social media friends) and co-worker relationships where politics should NOT be discussed (if you want to keep that relationship intact). Keep in mind, only you know which friends are carefree hipsters and which are hyper extremists who can’t control their passion for politics. Use your best judgment. If you wouldn’t dare discuss religion with a person, I don’t recommend debating religion’s etiquette-aligned partner, politics.

My advice is to be prepared (to commit, act like you are asleep, or fake it) as the conclusion of the 2016 Presidential race gets closer. Elections tend to inspire political debate, even in the bedroom.

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Image Credit: Craig Loftus on Flickr

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