Todd Starnes Converted Me to Islam

Todd Starnes Converted Me to Islam

Corey WilsonThursday,4 February 2016

Todd Starnes converted me to Islam. I was reading his stupid article to my girlfriend and accidentally read the Shahada—the Islamic creed—aloud to her, therefore making me a Muslim. Well, apparently that’s all it takes. According to the Thomas More Law Center, at least. Though in all honesty, I hope it’s not true, because I’d make a terrible Muslim. Todd—my indoctrinator—doesn’t even know how to spell Muhamm(a)ed. How am I supposed to be a good Muslim when my teacher can’t even spell?

But, I’ve gotten too far ahead; let’s back up.

Todd’s written about La Plata High School before, and I’ve responded to it, but it looks like there’s more to the story. In fact, the parents of one of the students has filed a lawsuit against the school. And these aren’t innocuous accusations either; the school’s been accused of Islamic indoctrination (radical Islamic indoctrination according to Todd, because he doesn’t actually think about what words he uses) and propaganda.

“Defendants forced Wood’s (the parents) daughter to disparage her Christian faith by reciting the Shahada, and acknowledging Mohammad as her spiritual leader,” Richard Thomas of the Thomas More Law Center said.

To expand on my brief mention of the Shahada: it is “an Islamic creed declaring belief in the oneness of God and the acceptance of Muhammad as God’s prophet.”

As quoted in Todd’s article: “There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.”

Now that you’re caught up, we’ve arrived at the funny bit.

“The Thomas More Law Center said that for non-Muslims, reciting the statement is sufficient to convert one to Islam.”

So essentially, Todd’s saying that the school has converted the Wood’s daughter to Islam—that she is now a Muslim.

Except that’s profoundly stupid. I’ve just gone and read the Shahada; I read it aloud to my girlfriend and my cats (I have few friends). I am still not a Muslim. Why not? Because reading something doesn’t make you something. This is a fact of everyday life, and a fact in Islam itself. “Words are wind,” George Martin would say.

This just goes to show how little the Thomas More Law Center knows about Islam. In order for one to be considered a Muslim you must recite the Shahada in front of two Muslim’s, and you must:

“In accordance with the central importance played by the notion of intention (Arabic: نیّة‎, niyya) in Islamic doctrine, the recitation of the shahada must reflect understanding of its import and heartfelt sincerity.”

And that is why I’m not a Muslim, and why the Wood’s daughter is not a Muslim. If you’re trying to tell me that she abandoned her belief in your god so easily—if you’re telling me she holds onto her beliefs so feebly, then maybe you should just keep her inside.

This has become just another reason for Todd to bitch about Islam. He makes up a bunch of shit, and publishes it for the readers who’ve already purused the fear-mongering pages of Fox News. He’s praying on scared people to force his stupid agenda—to make sure his deity of choice remains top dog.

But naturally, he had to disguise and misdirect his audience.

He says:

“Students were also allegedly instructed that ‘the Islamic religion is a fact while Christianity and Judaism are just beliefs.’”

Which links to the Thomas More Law Center’s exhibits (I assume the evidence they intend on presenting in court). I read the exhibits, and they look like regular ol’ homework to me, but hey I’m biased here since I’m apparently Muslim now.

But not does it tell students Islam is “fact,” while the others are “beliefs.” And, if you’re unwilling to look for yourself, I present to you exhibit A:

Todd quotes lines from the exhibit, but never quotes what’s alleged above. Why not? Is it because Todd looked for himself and couldn’t find it? That’s my guess. But that assertion was far too good to leave out, so he put it in and tacked on the word “allegedly” to clean his hands of any wrongdoing.

“I suspect their reaction would have been a bit different had La Plata High School been baptizing children and forcing them to memorize John 3:16.”

Of course the reaction would’ve been different. Because teaching someone about baptism with a power point presentation and actually baptizing them are two completely different things, you god damn idiot.

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Image Credit: WBEZ on Flickr

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