Edgar Allan Trump

Edgar Allan Trump

Corey WilsonWednesday,27 January 2016

If you were to take all of Donald Trump’s gaffs, write them out, and post them to someplace like a YouTube comment section, every person would call you a Poe. If it weren’t for the video, I wouldn’t believe the man existed. Partly for my own sanity, but mostly because the shit he says is so ridiculous sometimes, that I strain to believe it.

Shit like:

They say I have the most loyal people—did you ever see that?—where I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters.”

Well, actually, that doesn’t sound so bad. Really, it seems like he’s reiterating someone else’s point. In fact, I was a little annoyed by other sources cutting out the most important part of the quote—the portion I bolded above.

Cut the boldface, and it’s a pretty horrid thing to say. Which is exactly why places like the Independent jumped on it. It’s a grabby headline, and with people like Glenn Beck yammering about it, it’s causing some fuss. And why wouldn’t it? What kind of message does that send?

But why am I defending Trump? Truly, I’m not. I just think it’s bullshit to quote mine people like this—even if they are Donald Trump. And I think Trump could’ve done himself a service by opting to clarify his statements after because I think this was all a mis—Donald Trump Doubles Down On Shooting Remarks—God dammit. Well, he’s just being The Donald—that’s his shtick: stubborn, cocky, assholish. Just because he’s embraced your quote mine doesn’t mean he—

You know what else they say about my people—the polls—they say I have the most loyal people—did you ever see that?—where I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters.”

Well, shit. It looks like unmined quote, was actually a mined quote. Because the boldface unveils the subject. He wasn’t reiterating someone else’s point; he was interpreting his poll numbers. So, he is an asshole.

Why was that so hard? Why did I have to go to five different websites, and then find the clip on YouTube and watch it for myself to find out what the fuck was going on? Is it so hard to post the quote in its entirety?

This is why I hate campaign season. It’s impossible to get a straight answer from anyone, and I have to waste my time wading through the dishonesty just to find out what I already knew: Donald Trump is an idiot.

But back to the original point. Trump has made such a farce out of the GOP that it’s difficult for me to believe he’s earnest. Every inch of my body screams troll, but who has the kind of money to fund a presidential campaign just for the lulz?

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Image Credit: Matt Brown on Flickr



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