Pretty Please, Is It Time For The Apocalypse Yet?

Pretty Please, Is It Time For The Apocalypse Yet?

Adrienne BoettingerWednesday,20 January 2016

When we found out Liberty University was having Donald Trump speak on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, we were pretty sure it was a sign end times had finally arrived. And now, the Palin has emerged from her hole to ramble on in semi-intelligible gibberish, commanding her legions to support Herr Trump, so this must be it. Apocalypse NOW more than ever!

Seriously if you’ve been paying attention to anything lately you’ve learned everything is a huge pile of steaming poo. Whether it’s politics, entertainment or the weather, we just want to hide under the covers and drink rye whiskey straight from the bottle.

Politics. The GOP race is locked between a lunatic who would literally say anything to win and the most punch-worthy face we’ve ever seen in our lives, we want to like Hillary but there’s still something about her that makes us wince, and the candidate that makes the most sense is a befuddled looking, self-proclaimed socialist who may have swallowed a megaphone. Oh and we’re still hella far away from the damn election so no damn politicians will do any damn thing because they’re too damn busy campaigning or acting like whiny babies.

Entertainment. Right before the MLK holiday weekend, the Academy announced yet another year of lily-white nominees. Plus all the awesome people keep on dying like David Bowie, Alan Rickman and Glenn Frey. And it’s the last freaking season of Downton Abbey and we swear to god if Julian Fellowes kills someone else off we like we’re gonna lose it.

Migrants and Refugees. Millions and millions continue to suffer homeless and maligned, a small number commit atrocious acts of sexual violence, and the rest of the world seems reluctant and ill-equipped to deal with the massive influx of people with nowhere else to go.

Weather. Another snowpocalypse type event is bearing down on the Eastern seaboard and though it’s still a few days out, we’re already getting that clutchy feeling in our chest as we look at our heat pump and roof situation and realize we’ve run out of bread and milk and the lines at the stores are already insane.

And that’s just a small sample! It really makes us want to give up, throw things, or scream until we can’t scream anymore. And while all of those would feel slightly cathartic, we’re gonna soldier on. Because we can. Because a lot of people don’t have that option. Because yes, everything is pretty shitty, but we actually can do things to make other people’s lives less shitty. Like contact our current and prospective representatives and tell them what issues matter to us and why. Or see a movie or TV series by or starring people of color. Or contact Julian Fellowes one more time, begging him to let Edith be happy for god’s sake! Or donate to the International Rescue Committee or Healthcare for the Homeless. Or volunteer with a local organization. Or realize that we have enough necessities at home (toilet paper, booze, books) and hunker down for the storm, being grateful we have a roof over our heads.

Take Action!

Hat Tips:

Image Credit: Wei Tchou on Flickr

Subscribe to get updates delivered to your inbox