Facts, Facts…

Facts, Facts…

Corey WilsonWednesday,2 December 2015

I struggled. I struggled dearly with this final article (before I leave on a brief hiatus). I checked Fox News—as I always do—praying, hoping, yearning for another Mike Huckabee article. And there, before mine eyes, emblazoned across the front page, read this headline:

“America needs a commander in chief, not a weather-obsessed meteorologist.”

And I wept. For it seemed too perfect. Not only was this poor soul—surely tormented from his abysmal campaign—writing an article, but he wrote it about climate change. Only if he’d written about climate change increasing the number of Planned Parenthood abortions could this have been a more perfect article.

And so I began to write—quite furiously—for his article was naught but a steaming pile of doo. But then, as I paused in thought, mine eyes gazed upon the sidebar and fell upon another headline.

“In Paris, Obama worships at the altar of Europe’s real religion: Climate Change.”

And to myself I thought, “What the fuck does that even mean?”

So to Christian Whiton, I say this. “Screw you for ruining such a perfect opportunity. For denying God’s will by forcing me to write a response to your stupidity instead! Damn you!”

Ahem. Sorry. I got all “old timey” there.

I began my first draft in disappointment; I had hoped Huckabee would’ve brought some substance to the table. I had wished I could’ve done a little research and punked his ass like I punked Cal Thomas’s.

Fortunately, though the gods first gift was lacking, their second was not. For this ignoramus, Christian Whiton, did drop some facts. And by facts I mean lies. And so let us indulge in some sexy-ass facts, and rip this poor soul to shreds.

“Climate alarmist have long predicted doom from rising temperatures. Recently, they have added even more exotic claims. Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders asserted that, ‘climate change is directly related to the growth of terrorism.’”

I touched on this very quote last month, so I’ll skip it this time, but Whiton continued in this manner. He mentioned that Prince Charles blamed climate change for causing the Syrian Civil War; he also mentioned President Obama’s speech in May where Obama said climate change was “an immediate risk to our national security.”

What we should take from that is simple. Whiton can’t read, and Prince Charles and Bernie Sanders aren’t climatologists; both Sanders and Charles are wrong—though not completely.

What we need to understand is that climate change wasn’t directly responsible for the things like the Syrian Civil War or the rise of Boko Haram; it was indirectly responsible. That’s a small distinction, but it is incredibly important. In both cases, climate change negatively impacted resources, which escalated the severity of already present crises.

“No one denies that the climate continues to change as it always has, but Earth stopped warming in 1998—an inconvenient truth for climate alarmists known as ‘the pause.’”

No it hasn’t. You Liar. I’m sorry, but I’m absolutely tired of this. Why? Because it means one of two things. Either Christian Whiton is a chump who thinks websites like Climate Depot are authorities on the subject of climate change, or he knows they’re not, and regurgitates the lies they preach anyway.

Let me make this very clear to everyone who missed my spat with Cal Thomas. “The Pause” is not a real thing. Allow me to prove it, since I, unlike Whiton, actually did research.

This is an excerpt from a previous article I wrote that confronts and debunks this same shitty lie. Prepare yourself for it is a slog.

Claim One: Since December 1996 there has been no global warming at all.

Cal linked this page to accompany Claim One—naturally it redirects to climatedepot.com—which shows a graph that indicates the global mean temperature change from December 1996 to April 2015 has been -0.002ºC/century (no warming). That graph, plotted by using only the RSS satellite dataset (because one’s apparently enough), is the soul piece of evidence presented for Claim One.

I don’t know where to begin. I guess I’ll start by saying it’s outright fallacious because, and I quote, “any deviations from an unchanging linear warming trend are explained by the influence of [El Niño Southern Oscillations], volcanoes and solar variability.”

For us muggles, that means we only see a pause in global warming when the aforementioned internal variables are present in the datasets. When those climatic anomalies are accounted for (and the data are adjusted to compensate for those anomalies), there is no cessation in the global warming trend.”

What does that mean? Allow me to copy-paste again.

“How do I reconcile that inconvenient “truth?” Simply: they’ve cherry-picked the data to start on a year with a massive temperature spike (the 1997-98 El Niño) as to influence the resulting trend. What Climate Depot has done by starting their measurements in 1996 is either disingenuous or ignorant because of course you’ll see a deviation in the warming trend when you start your measurements in a year where the temperature was abnormally hot.


Climate Depot needs to look at the long term facts: the Earth has seen an increase in global warming from decade-to-decade since the 1950s.

Fact check me, Whiton. I dare you. I’m off for a month; I’ll wait.

Let’s run through the rest of his claims and knock them out because now I’m in the mood.

“Past predictions by radical environmentalists of doom and gloom have consistently turned out wrong: for example, Paul Ehrlich predicted in 1968 that 65 million Americans would starve in the 1980s.”

One person (a biologist I might add) being wrong about one—incredibly specific—claim doesn’t disprove climate change. You should be weary of listening to people you call “radical environmentalists.” Instead, you should try listening to climatologists and meteorologists since they actually study the climate professionally.

“Voters are slowing coming around. Only 47 percent think the government should do more about climate change; down from 70 percent eight years ago. While 63 percent of Americans think climate change is a serious problem, that figure has declined 6 points from just last year.”

That’s horrible, and you should be ashamed of yourself. You see, this is what happens when you spread misinformation: people start to believe your lies. But that’s what you liars want, isn’t it? You liars.

And so now I’ll conclude, Cal Chris. I can’t say honestly that I know why you like to deny scientific facts. Maybe you’re scared of the consequences; maybe you like hearing people say that this incredibly dangerous change in our Earth isn’t real—maybe it makes you feel better. I don’t know, but you need to shut up.

“The globe is warming; the sea is warming. Human activity is responsible for the warming. This is a fact, and it’s time to accept it so we can start making decisions on how to fix the damage we’ve already caused. Stop propagating bullshit.”

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