Still Time to Trump the Super PACs?

Still Time to Trump the Super PACs?

Rachel CohenMonday,2 November 2015

It seems Trump has finally lost his unfathomable lead, and now Dr. Ben “What supplements?” Carson is the front-runner of the Republican primary shitshow. Only 746 more debates to go because it’s important to be informed about tie colors or something.

I don’t know how we got here, and I don’t know why, but you know what they say, you get the hero you deserve.

I think the most interesting thing about this election’s primaries is that it really illustrates what I believe to be the most fundamental difference between the two parties at this current stage: rationality.

With Chaffee out, Webb doing his own thing, and O’Malley somewhere over there in the corner maybe doing god knows what, the democratic primary race is where it should be – between candidates who represent the scope of the left. My favorite uncle, Bernie (sorry Joe), gives those on the far side someone who finally stands up to some of the racial and economic disparities plaguing the country, while allowing those who think owning guns is in any way reasonable to have their killthings. See, nobody wins on all the issues, so everybody gets something. Oh my, a choice and some compromise.

Hillary’s got the middle all figured out, and truly does have the strength to pull the “rational” center Republicans to the un-dark side. She loves gays now! She still loves banks. But she also hates guns!

Damn girl, way to diversify and conquer.

But the thing with the right is, not a single one of the Republican “candidates” out there really has the combination of experience, knowledge (the real kind), money, or any identifiable platform to pull this off in the long run. It’s like they pulled a spectrum of guys out of a hat, with each one having a talking point on a single “issue.” RUBIO SAYS. JEB SAYS. TRUMP YELLS. PAUL SQUEAKS.

Now, the Republican Party is all mad at NBC for asking questions, jeez you didn’t even say anything about the ties.

So here we are.

The JEB! Problem

My completely based in nothing speculation is that the Republican overlords put all of their eggs in one John Ellis Bush Bush basket, and found out the hard way that money can’t buy everything. Like a personality. Or a soul.

What (I hope) we are witnessing is the great fall of the despised-by-most and loved-by-a-few super PAC system. Sure, if you are a majorly rich person with a majorly rich company this is an excellent way to make sure you stay in power by subverting the entire democratic process. But for most people, we’re literally left watching this weird thing play out where candidates are fighting against each other but they’re really not because it’s just rich people’s playtime right now. Remember that horrible Bengahahahahahazi anti-Hillary ad?

The problem with the PAC? What if you decide to back the wrong guy too early on? And what happens when the guy you back runs out of campaign money?

I really think that everyone up high just expected JEB to waltz in and take control. Come on, he’s so likeable! His wife is Mexican! His kids are brown!

Unfortunately, Jebbifer has a history of terrible policies in Florida, has reversed his entire position on immigration, and somehow thinks that everyone in the country has absolutely forgotten about his brother’s presidency. He keeps trying too hard to seem like a human, and continues to lose ground to Trump and Carson. Nobody likes him.

This is where we find the Trump conundrum. Yes, he was an excellent play on the part of the Republican Party as a way to galvanize, well anyone, because celebrity! And sure, he totally agreed not to run should he not get the nomination. And Trump is exactly the kind of guy I expect to stick to his word.

And Carson? I think the overlords never took him seriously because really, two black presidents in a row? So while he continues to gain in popularity among really scary people I just don’t see the deep right base going for it.

I can’t wait to see how Trump plays out. I can’t imagine Carson overcoming his chronic foot-in-mouth syndrome, and eventually everyone gets tired of talking about Hitler. I thought possibly Ryan was being squirreled away to whip out at the last minute, but it seems he’s done with politics after all.

Is Trump a failed play by our rich overlords? Is JEB finally on his way out? Will Scotty ever find the lost artifact?



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Image Credit: Michael Vadon on Flickr

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