Canada’s Fox News

Canada’s Fox News

Corey WilsonWednesday,21 October 2015

Dear Ottawa Sun,

I don’t like you. You see, I’ve been paying attention to American politics a lot around here—mostly because of our readership, and because American candidates are way more funny—so I’ve missed many opportunities to scold you.

However, CTV’s info-graphic-CGI thing last night showed that at least seven or eight Americans were tweeting about the Canadian Federal Election, so here’s my opportunity.

You’re a shittier, less effective, Canadian Fox News. I’d like you to start by reading this article of mine. I’m a struggling writer; I can’t make a living doing this. For that reason, the amount of time it takes me to write articles is incredibly important. I can’t spend 10 hours writing these like I did with that one about Cal Thomas. For that reason, I need you to fucking hyperlink your articles. I know that a lot of your columnists are old men, and I understand that half of them probably still submit in hardcopy to some intern I graduated with who copies it onto your website. But that’s no excuse for failing to cite claims.

In fact, it makes you an asshole.

It doesn’t stop there. The core of this entire article by Lorne Gunter is logical fallacy after logical fallacy. Like here:

But let’s assume Trudeau is right. That’s a big ask given how limited the Liberal boss’s economic knowledge is.

He’s a trust fund baby. At age 43, his only regular job has been a couple years of substitute teaching in B.C.

Ad hominem fallacy. Just because he hasn’t held some arbitrary job doesn’t mean he doesn’t know anything about the economy. I have a day job, and I don’t know shit about the economy. See how that works? Job ≠ economic understanding (I’m a cashier, and I can barely count change).

For the sake of argument, let’s accept Trudeau’s argument our economy is in idle. If it is, Trudeau proposes to jump behind the wheel, throw it into gear and slam it into a tree.

What? That’s not a point; you’re just appealing to your terrified audience’s fragile emotional state—the fragile emotional state Stephen Harper caused with his constant fear mongering. Yes, this is an actual ad from the CPC:

Watch how dumb it is when you do stuff like this: For the sake of argument, let’s accept Harper’s argument our economy isn’t idle. If it isn’t, Harper proposes to jump into the cockpit, throw it into gear and fly us into the Sun. Do you see how that’s not an argument? Do you see how there’s literally no substance?

He has said he will end income-splitting for families and tax ‘the rich.’

I assume you put quotes around “the rich” because you’re implying that it’s an arbitrary term, and that he hasn’t adequately defined it (as many people have been saying).

Trudeau’s plan is to create a new 33-percent tax rate for earnings above $200,000.

All of that would be bad enough, but Trudeau has also many times expressed his admiration for the Ontario Liberals.
Yet they have been a disaster.

Every government of Ontario has increased the debt in the last 25 years—which includes New Democrats and Conservatives alike. For the fun of it, let’s do what you did, but go back even further into Ontario’s 25 years of debt increases.

We look back on Conservative Mike Harris’s reign as Premier of Ontario from 1994-2003. After inheriting a massive debt from NDP Premier Bob Rae, Harris raised the province’s debt from $90.7 billion in 1994-1995 to $132.6 billion in 2002-2003. What you should take from that is that every Ontario government has inherited debt from the last one (for the last quarter century).

Why did the Liberals rack up so much more debt after taking control? Well, because the aforementioned Harris cut provincial services and forced municipalities to pay for them. After he left, Liberal Premier McGuinty spent money trying to relieve Ontario’s cities from that burden. So really, they’ve been trying to clean up a mess (though of course that’s not all they’ve spent money on). Maybe they’ve done a bad job; I won’t open that can of worms. But regardless, you can’t blame Ontario’s debt solely on the Liberal Party. The debts have been there for longer than I’ve been alive.

So maybe just stop, Ottawa Sun. You’re not as entertaining as Fox News, but you’re just as bad. Also, if you could stop writing articles for the next few weeks so my conservative friends can stop spamming my Facebook, that’d be great.

Yours truly.

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Image Credit: Renegade98 on Flickr

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