Feminists Hate Him

Feminists Hate Him

Corey WilsonWednesday,5 August 2015

I’m sorry to have to do this again, Info Wars. I’ve already made fun of Mike Huckabee a couple times, and Cal Thomas, and Donald Trump too. Everyone else—Jon Stewart, John Oliver, Adrienne Boettinger—is already making fun of them, so I’ve gotta find my niche, ya know? That’s where you come in.

You’re stupid and sell people fear—so you kind of deserve it—but just know that I have nothing against you (lies). It’s me, and my left-wing liberal bias that’s the issue. But don’t blame me. I’m a product of my environment. “Brainwashed,” I think you call it. So don’t take any of this personally.

The title of your video is “Why Are Feminists Fat & Ugly?

Sigh. Is it click bait? Did I fall for it?

Let’s be clear from the start: I loathe the “feminists” you paraded in your video (probably just as much as you). I can’t stand to watch more than thirty seconds of them screaming, and acting like children. However, I don’t understand your angle. Are you so diluted that you think feminism encourages women to act like these idiots—that feminism encourages women to be fat and unhealthy?

“Third-wave feminists” as you call them, are to feminism what the Westborough Baptist Church is to Christianity.

You can’t point at the loudest, most annoying pocket of a community and declare that they represent the whole, or that the whole is encouraging that behaviour.

Dear god, I hope I’m not coming off as a—how did you say it?—“nancy boy.”

You asked me (because fact-checking isn’t your Kia Forte), “Does feminism make women fat and ugly?”

The answer is a resounding “No.” Your evidence is speculative at best. What the UCLA research suggests is that voters (informed or not) are able to determine a representative’s political standing by looking solely at their appearance.

The research suggests that female Democrats are less traditionally attractive than their conservative counterparts. That’s it. It doesn’t say the word “feminism” once, nor does it even try to relate it the movement at all. Not once did it suggest that liberals themselves are ugly; it speaks only of the representatives.

You would’ve realized that if you’d have read the entire article—which you didn’t. How do I know? Because if you had, you would’ve read the last line, seen the irony, and thought of a better idea for your video.

“A considerable portion of the electorate may not be well-informed, and they may be making decisions based on subtle cues that need to be revealed and understood.”

Simply because feminism encourages confident behaviour (confident “protips” if you will) doesn’t mean that it’s making women fatter. The research you and the guy you pilfered your info from stated that people who performed a “power pose” before gambling saw an eight percent increase in testosterone.

I wasn’t able to find out how much testosterone women produce daily, but I know that men produce between 3 and 7 milligrams (far more than women). What’s eight percent of 7 milligrams? 560 micrograms. A pitiful amount. I fucking doubt it’s enough to make women go… all gross and stuff. I’m not a scientist though, so maybe I’m wrong. In fact, I hope I’m wrong. If power posing does increase testosterone levels enough to make physiological changes in women, maybe I can power-pose my way into a real beard.

To conclude: feminism doesn’t make women fat.

You idiot.

Assertion numero uno:

Are fat women attracted to feminism?

Probably.

Hey Jude, imagine this. You’re part of a group of people who are laughed at and ridiculed by the rest of “normal society” for being different or believing different things when really they’re the ones who are blind to the truth. Since you work for Info Wars, maybe this actually sounds familiar to you.

In the “fat chick’s” case, people are blind to the fact that beauty is subjective. That’s why there’s a BBW category, and Huge Titties, Small Titties, and Little Balls of Furry Titties categories on all our favourite porn sites.

However, unlike your case—where people pay ya’ll obscene amounts of money to peddle the end times—fat women are routinely criticized, and treated shitty.

It’s a fact that overweight women in America receive special treatment—and by special treatment, I mean shitty treatment—for being fat. You’ve seen this, John—I mean George—I mean Paul. I’ve done it; you just did it.

“Across numerous settings, fat women fare worse than thinner women and worse than men, whether the men are fat or thin.”

So maybe instead of feminism being a refuge for sexual failures, it’s a refuge—an outlet if you will—for women to try and convince society that it’s not okay to treat them differently just because they have more body fat.

But what is your message, Macca? Feminism is making dem bitchez fat so we should… abandon it? Conveniently, you didn’t actually have a solution to your pretend problem. I suspect that you don’t have an answer because you don’t care. The only reason you made this video was to reel us in with the click bait, and have us spend money on your thyroid medication.

Which I still haven’t gotten yet.

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