Don’t You Love Farce?

Don’t You Love Farce?

Corey WilsonWednesday,15 July 2015

Sometimes. Sometimes you read something so profoundly stupid it makes your head hurt. I’d coin the term myself, but I think my brain’s still recuperating from the Fox “News” brain freeze I just experienced. I’ll warn you—for your own sanity—to just walk away now. I know you’ll miss all my dank jokes, but it’s worth it. Trust me.

Climate change, for whatever reason, still seems to be generating confusion. It’s such a confusing topic that Cal Thomas of Fox “News” put it in quotation marks every time he wrote it. But maybe he wasn’t mocking it, or implying he doesn’t believe it exists. His article is all kinds of stupid, so maybe he just thought quotation marks brought emphasis to something. I’ll do the same so that in the unlikely event that Cal reads this he’ll feel acclimated.

As the great Bill Nye the Science Guy has said time and time again (along with the overwhelming majority of climate scientists), “climate change” is “fact” and is influenced (at least in part) by “human activity.” The only thing left to talk about is what we’re going to do about it.

Recently, President Obama connected “climate change” to terrorism. He said, “Understand, climate change did not cause the conflicts we see around the world. Yet what we also know is that severe drought helped to create the instability in Nigeria that was exploited by the terrorist group Boko Haram. It’s now believed that drought and crop failures and high food prices helped fuel the early unrest in Syria, which descended into civil war in the heart of the Middle East.”

Pretty straightforward, right? Wars have been fought over resources since literally the beginning of civilization. It’s not a new concept. With climate change limiting resources, it only makes sense that people will fight over what remains.

Cal didn’t seem to understand that. His “retort”—and now is the time to prepare yourself (perhaps an ice cream brain freeze will nerf the effect of the stupidity that follows [or maybe it’ll make it worse. I don’t know])—was thus.

“If ‘climate change’ made terrorism possible, how does the president explain violent jihadism dating back to the time of the Prophet Muhammad, long before carbon was a concern, or even a footprint?”

I’ll wait. I’ve heard pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth helps. Slowly, it helps slowly, not instantly. Is it— Are you— You’re good? Okay, let’s move on.

Alright, Cally boy. The president is saying that “climate change” is creating an environment where terrorism can thrive, not that it is the sole reason to commit terrorism, or that it is the reason terrorism exists. “Climate change” has created the political instability that gave violent extremists (who already exist) an avenue to voice themselves and act on their violent beliefs.

“If ‘climate change’ made terrorism possible, how does the president explain violent jihadism dating back to the time of the Prophet Mohammed?”

It’s “fucking simple,” man. He doesn’t have to, because what you’re saying doesn’t make any sense. Climate change didn’t: birth extremism; birth jihadism; birth terrorism. Obama didn’t even say that. What he said was, “that severe drought helped to create the instability in Nigeria that was exploited by the terrorist group Boko Haram.”

Let’s take a second and really look at that sentence.

Drought created instability. Instability was exploited by Boko Haram.

What are those two sentences really saying? First, the drought did not cause Boko Haram; the drought did not cause terrorism. The drought caused instability. Second, Boko Haram exploited the instability; Boko Haram was already a fucking thing. Drought did not cause Boko Haram. The drought was a catalyst; it created the thing that Boko Haram needed. Just like other catalysts caused the things that extremists needed during the time of the Prophet Mohammed.

Er-fucking-go climate change is giving terrorists the instability that they require to get a foothold in our world. Er-fucking-go terrorists don’t need climate change to survive, they need instability (among other things) to survive. The fact that you so thoroughly missed the point can only mean two things:

One, you’re an idiot, or two, you did it on purpose.

Oh, and to answer your last question, Cal. “Don’t you love farce?”

I really, really, do.

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Hat Tips:

Fox “News”, NASA, Image Credit: Gage Skidmore on Flickr



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