Carnival Cruz From Hell (Redux)

Carnival Cruz From Hell (Redux)

Matt HealeyWednesday,25 March 2015

In a move that surprised no one, Carnival Cruz announced that he will be running for president. He is the first official candidate from the evangelical christian party of god to announce that he is running. While at least two other candidates have created exploratory committees — Donald Trump and Ben Carson (still working on snarkey names for them) — Carnival made the bold choice to skip the exploratory committee. This brings two interesting thoughts – Orly Taitz and is this going to be more comedy or nausea?

Let’s start with Orly. In case you have forgotten, Orly is the batshit crazy birther who has never given up the idea that Obama was not born in the U.S. The interesting part is that Carnival, unlike Obama, actually was not born in the U.S. He was born in Calgary. So Orly should have the same problem with Carnival that she did with Obama. To her credit, she has taken s somewhat hardline stance on the issue. On her site (which is more terrifying than any of the Saw movies), she has written the following on the topic of Carnival’s eligibility:

“We are seeing now 5 years of documented complete corruption of the US government, including the U.S.  Judiciary, dismantling of the rule of law, United States of America descending into the mob rule and the rule of a criminal enterprise.”

She continues that as long as we are in a state of complete anarchy and mob rule we should consider Carnival:

“If this continues, we simply should do the best to bring to the White House someone, who will not aim to destroy the US economy and US defense. There are a few individuals who are not perfect, but who make some sense. Among them are Dr. Ben Carson, Governor of WI Scott Walker, Senator from Utah Mike Lee and Senator from TX Ted Cruz.”

So at least she is somewhat consistent. In a sick kind of way.

The next question is will Carnival’s run be more comedy or nausea. Right now, after listening to his announcement I am in the nausea camp. It is clear from the announcement that carnival is running to move the U.S. closer to his view of religious freedom – everyone has the right to be christian. His announcement made my skin crawl. Now I think that he has no chance to win the nomination. The problem is that he is so offensive that he is going to greatly reduce my enjoyment of the evangelical christian party of god’s nominating contest.

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Image Credit: Gage Skidmore on Flickr


  1. […] the presidential run begins to heat up, what with Carnival Cruz having announced and Marco Rubio (Bonus points if you can come up with a snarkey name for him to go […]

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