Don’t Know Much About History

Don’t Know Much About History

Adrienne BoettingerFriday,20 February 2015

Some commie liberals are up in arms over a recent decision by brave Oklahoma state legislators to ban advanced placement U.S. history classes. These legislators do not want Oklahoma’s children to learn to be ashamed of being ‘Murican. Hells no! That’s why they’re unafraid of complaints from countless educators, parents, students, and pretty much everyone who hasn’t had the lobotomies required of members of the Oklahoma state legislature (who have also focused legislative efforts on banning hoodies and requiring pre-marriage STD tests). Well, Oklahoman politicians looking for support for your latest dumbass idea, gaze eastward upon your stalwart champion, the Communist Party of China.

The Chinese government wants to take all non-Chinese ideas out of China’s university system. China’s Education Minister has urged the banning of western textbooks from Chinese campuses and the prevention of classroom criticism of the Communist Party or President Xi Jinping. That’s just like how the Sooner State would sooner let their kids miss out on obtaining college credit than fill their heads with what they see as anti-American ideology running rampant in AP U.S. History classes (like slavery was really that bad. PUH-LEASE).

Here at TSD, we find heartwarming the similar reactions from Oklahoman and Chinese students, parents, and teachers. Whether East or West, they are united in thinking their respective government officials are a pack of asshats who should leave teaching up to actual teachers. To circumvent the jackassery of China’s Education Minister, Chinese university students are trying to take online classes to learn about the rest of the world. Oklahoma’s teachers are trying to educate the state legislature as to what actually goes on in AP U.S. History classes. Contrary to what the legislators think, students are not taught that America is the devil. Rather, they’re taught a balance of some of the best and worst things to come out of this country.

Eleventy gazillion years ago when this writer was in school, my favorite class was AP U.S. History. Granted it was taught by a hockey-loving ex-nun so how could it not have been amazing? But even without our awesomesauce teacher the class was great. It gave us a helpful primer on American history – the good, the bad and the ugly. And none of us came out of the class feeling we had to flee the country immediately to not be infected with evil. Some of us even went on to work in the numbing federal bureaucracy at great risk to our personal sanity and intelligence levels, because we actually learned to love our country a little more.

What Oklahomans need to remember is that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. For students, this means they get no college credit and so will have to re-learn all about U.S. history once they actually get to college. For voters, this means that if they don’t want their kids to get a craptastic education, maybe they need to change who they vote for next time around.


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Hat Tips:

JezebelFox “News”, NewsweekNew York TimesOklahoma’s Own News on 6China Digital Times, Image Credit: Flickr

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