When I Am Queen of Everything Things Are Gonna Get Real

When I Am Queen of Everything Things Are Gonna Get Real

Adrienne BoettingerMonday,9 February 2015

*Let me start by saying I need a shower for my eyeballs. As proof of my love for you, dear readers, and my attempt to look at multiple sides of a story, I just checked out online comments from terrible people and a disgustingly racist website for their account of the recent example of a “real American” and an airline ticket agent verbally attacking an American woman daring to travel with her husband and four kids while wearing hijab. What makes this particular website so disturbing, besides its terribly racist and ethnocentric rants, is its use of grumpy cat photos to promote hatred. Plus they sell t-shirts with a picture of Winston Churchill that will forever haunt my nightmares. And the site is one of the top 50,000 websites in the world (with an audience that is astonishingly male non college degree holders). Let’s now return to this TSD post already in progress…

The phrase “real Americans” makes my skin crawl and my right eye twitch. These self-appointed protectors of freedom and the American way have a truly heinous vision of what it means to be an American.

Looking through their beady eyes, a real American is white, middle class, self-proclaimed Christian (making Christ shake his head and sigh), hate-filled, self-righteous and knower of all things forever. These real Americans travel the country secure in the knowledge that they and their children will not be threatened on a daily basis due to the actions of someone they never met, on the other side of the globe who claims to share the same religion. Their salad dressing is ranch, their bread is white, and their idea of ethnic food is pizza. They have stockpiles of weapons and beef jerky for the upcoming apocalypse and rub their hands together gleefully thinking of all the sinners heading straight to hell. They see anyone who is not like them as threatening and the reason why their all-American dreams haven’t come true.

Let me tell you what it means to be a real American. It means you live here, were born here, or have U.S. citizenship. It means you are entitled to the same inalienable rights as your neighbor. It means you call home a country that was founded on the ideas of religious freedom, tolerance and democratic principles. It means you should be able to go about your daily lives without having your American-ness questioned by racist asshats who get their kicks from terrorizing anyone who is different than them.

I have an Indian-American friend whose family was harassed in a video store in Florida after 9-11, proving not just that the person who attacked them was a racist but also an idiot who never learned geography. Have you had your American-ness questioned? Odds are you have if you dared to live in the Land-of-the-Free while being non-white after the terrorist attacks on September 11th — that incidentally didn’t distinguish between taking the lives of Caucasians or African Americans or Asian Americans, Muslims or Christians or Jews or atheists, heterosexuals or homosexuals, men or women, young or old.

Therefore, When I Am Queen of Everything, anyone who refers to themselves as a “real American” or suggests that someone else is not a “real American” will have a red, white and blue dunce cap stapled to his or her skull. This will serve as a far-away indicator that you should approach or listen to this person only when absolutely necessary and then you must do so with caution. ‘Cuz few things seem as contagious lately as fear, hatred and complete and utter ignorance.

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Hat Tips:

AlexaMashableHuffington Post, Image Credit: Flickr

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