Why Old People Are So Much Cooler Than You Are

Why Old People Are So Much Cooler Than You Are

Adrienne BoettingerTuesday,6 January 2015

At TSD, we’re highly committed to helping our readers live the best lives they possibly can. Also, we love pointing out how lame you’re becoming with each passing day. With that in mind, we’ve prepared a little quiz:

1. You spent this past New Year’s Eve by a) you’re not really sure because you just woke up from your hangover, b) crossing off at least one item from your bucket list c) party at friend’s house and home just after midnight, or d) in your jammies and asleep before midnight?

2. On an average Friday would you rather a) go out dancing, b) go base jumping, c) try out a new restaurant, or d) stay home, eat some pizza and fall asleep on the couch?

3. When thinking about risky adventures you’d say a) hell yeah, bring it on!, b) as long as an awesomesauce time lies ahead, c) first let me check my insurance policy, or d) I’ll think about it right after I finish this nap?

We informally polled a few dozen people ages 25 to 60 and the majority of answers were D. You may be kicking yourself for leading such a boring life; see below for confirmation of the sad, sad state of your affairs.

– Normally people are talking about the first President Bush when they’re discussing oldsters jumping out of planes. Well, 41 ain’t got nothing on Eleanor Cunningham. This broad jumped out of a plane for the third time ever to celebrate her 100th birthday. The first time she jumped? She was 90. You spent your last birthday lying about your age and falling asleep after two glasses of wine.

– If you’re among the one-third of working-age adults in America who haven’t saved jack toward their retirements, you better hope you’ve got the mad skillz of Madeline Scotto. This 100-year-old math wiz is still teaching. Seriously. Her kids have retired but Madeline is going strong. She even walks to work (with the help of the school’s maintenance worker). Actually this story terrifies us as we dream of retiring right now.

– The idea of even running a 5K makes us want to lie down in a darkened room with a cold cloth on our foreheads. But at least two octogenarians have completed the Ford Ironman World Championship in Hawaii by swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles, and running 26.2 miles. Then there’s Tao Porchon-Lynch who is a 93-year-old-ballroom dancing champion (with a 23-year-old-partner) who teaches 12 yoga classes a week.

– Think you’ll spend your later years wistfully reminiscing of the golden days of yesteryear? Think again. In high income English-speaking countries like ‘Murica, people grow happier in their 40’s and onward. In Russia and Eastern Europe, however, happiness is higher for the young and then declines rapidly with age. We think once they finally accept Putin will never put a shirt back on, they give up hope that life will ever get better.

Bottom line, don’t live your lives like you think oldsters do. Live your lives like oldsters actually do. Just schedule some time for naps in between all your adventures.


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Hat Tips:

JezebelCBS NewsTodayDNA InfoTime, Image Credit: Flickr

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