The Story That Never Ends

The Story That Never Ends

Corey WilsonThursday,1 January 2015

Two weeks ago, totalitarianism won a great victory over freedom. In the greatest blow to free speech that any of us have ever seen in our entire lives probably, hackers forced Sony—almost—to cancel The Interview. No one stopped talking about it; we didn’t stop talking about it. Here we are again. Because this is the story that never ends.

Just kidding. There’s a better story, one that flew under the radar during this debacle. One that is so fucking ironic that it’s sort of hard to believe. In a strange turn of events, Sony spun itself from being the victim of totalitarian, free speech-hating commies, into, well, an asshole.

It all started when a hacker group known as the Guardians of Peace (GOP) pulled a shit ton of sensitive documents out of Sony’s ass and released them for the world to laugh at. However, on top of the embarrassing e-mails, they also leaked employee information like medical records, and social security numbers. So it made sense when Sony went after Twitter and tried to get the social media giant to suspend accounts that were sharing the information—as it put their employees at risk. Except that information wasn’t really being circulated.

Except one user who accidentally forgot to black-out the e-mail addresses of Sony employees when they tweeted some images. But Sony was right on that. They sent Twitter a letter saying they’d hold Twitter responsible if they didn’t stop that nonsense. Nice work, Sony. That’s how you stand up for your employees.

I’m sure you’re thinking that last bit’s a strange thing to say to a company who has failed to protect its clients and employees from having their sensitive information leaked to the public a bunch of fucking times before. And you’re right, because we’re not fooled by Sony’s shit attempt at playing the good guy during this disaster of a cyber-breach. If Sony actually cared about keeping client, employee information safe, they’d have taken steps to prevent these leaks from happening after the first time.

So that’s it. Sony played the victim, and we saw through it. That doesn’t really make them “assholes,” so I guess we kind of overreacted. Because let’s face it, it’s not like they were part of a secret pact with other entertainment companies named something stupid like “Project Goliath” that was trying to revive SOPA. It’s not like that’s what they were doing.

Except that’s what they were doing. The Verge and other sites sniffed through the piles of leaked information like hounds, and found that the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) was at the helm of an illuminati-esc campaign to go Dr. Frankenstein on SOPA—the anti-piracy bill that was so thoroughly hated most of you started frothing when you read the acronym in the last paragraph—and our beloved Sony had joined.

Knowing that, Sony’s censorship crusade in the last few days falls under a different light. And it didn’t help when most of their actions were bluffs at best, and bullying at worst. Like when they threatened Twitter, and other news agencies with “legal action” because the former’s users were reposting, and the latter’s reporters were… reporting the leaked information, saying that what they were doing was tantamount to aiding the hackers. To which freedom expression lawyers said, “lol no.”

Hopefully now you see what we were talking about. After years of being on the wrong end of cyber-attacks. After playing the victim card for a month. After being hacked six times in two months. And after handling every single one in an, “Oopsie, we’re sorry,” manner, it’s become apparent that Sony doesn’t give a shit. That’s why this is the story that never ends. Because a company that doesn’t learn from its mistakes will continue to make the same ones. And so it’s come to the point where we have to say:

Fuck you, Sony.

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Hat Tips:

CNN, Reddit, The Verge, Twitter, Forbes, Image Credit: Flickr

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