Dress To Oppress

Dress To Oppress

Adrienne BoettingerWednesday,12 November 2014

The Snap:

Did you see the weirdsmobile trekkie outfits the most powerful men in the world wore this past week? Each year the pranksters at APEC, which apparently stands for Assmonkey Parade in Eccentric Clothing, pick an awesomely hilarious outfit for their “family portraits.” This year the theme was “Mao at the Roxbury” and boy howdy was it fantastic! We’re only surprised Pootie-Poot didn’t find a way to make his shirtless. But the fashion tradition got us thinking. Politicians everywhere should embrace this. Each viewing of C-Span should show even more gloriously ornate and humorous outfits. Screw the typical advice of “dress for the job you want!” TSD thinks it would be a refreshing change of pace for Capitol Hillsters to dress as if their political lives depended on how asinine they looked. Maybe it might even distract the public from the asinine things politicians do and say.

The Download:

The only time you hear about politicians’ wardrobe choices is a) if they’re a man and wear something goober-ish or b) if they’re a woman and wear any type of clothing. Men typically dress pretty bleh; there are the old white men whose most daring outfits are grey suits instead of navy blue or wearing those fun holiday-themed ties at the office party. Some attempt to conceal their natural born idiocy with glasses, others try to distract from the amazing orangeness of their skin with bold tie choices to draw the eye downward, and all those from Texas sport their cowboy boots and hats to show their downhome folksy charm.

But on the whole, unless they’re sporting mom jeans or wearing a clip-on tie the public usually ignores male politician’s fashion choices. However, for women, it doesn’t matter what the hell we’re wearing, our looks will almost always be the main topic of conversation. It won’t be how we gave a really awesome speech at the UN or that we’re the most realistic chance at becoming Madame President in a long time or that we fight for the most vulnerable in the face of overwhelming apathy and malaise.

TSD thinks it’s about time we evened out the playing field. We recognize we’re not going to be able to change societal perceptions, media objectification and trivialization and centuries of dumbfounding douchebaggery. Rather than waste our energies trying to show how serious our female lawmakers are, we want to start a campaign to require all male politicians to wear the goofiest outfits they can find. We want to see big hats, plaid pants, fake handlebar mustaches (or real – go for it guys! It’s Movember), elf-like shoes, large and garish accessories, and don’t be afraid to embrace man-jewelry!

Maybe the visual hilarity will make up for the fact that the bulk of our elected officials have made a joke of the government and this new Congress will probably sink to even lower lows than the crapass record set by the most recent one.



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Hat Tips:

The HillWashington PostGQCNNBuzzfeedNew York MagazineHuffington Post, Image Credit: Flickr

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