Losing the Pounds (And Your Mind) Before Swimsuit Season

Losing the Pounds (And Your Mind) Before Swimsuit Season

Adrienne BoettingerTuesday,27 May 2014

The Snap:

As another summer approaches and I’m still not Queen of Everything, we’ve gotta address the coming horror that is swimsuit season. Is there a more effective way than trying on swimsuits to feel hideous about oneself? Probably not. The good news is even the people you think are near perfection also feel like total crap about themselves…Wait, that doesn’t sound right. It’s a good thing that everyone thinks the sight of themselves on a beach will either cause people to go blind or to break out harpoons? Of course it’s not a good thing! It’s terrible! But sadly it’s true; the skinniest minniest of us all sees rolls, wrinkles and dimpling where no one else does. Since working on people’s self-images will take more than the 500 words TSD allows, let’s talk about fitness!

The Download:

When last we left you fitness buffs, we were discussing how people are insane in how they choose the most awful ways possible to obtain unattainable fitness perfection. Whether we’re sweating our chachkies off in Bikram or having a lobotomy in the name of Insanity, the middle and upper classes in the developed world seem fully convinced that the more awful an exercise program is, the more effective it will be.

Here’s a not-so-secret secret: people don’t like crap they don’t like. What we mean by this is that if you’re not someone who likes being berated and you don’t need to feel like you’re winning over everyone including your own frail human body, some activities are not for you, like CrossFit, Kettlebell, Insanity, P90X, Hell on Earth, Bootcamp, etc. If you’re not okay with looking like a rhythm-less lunatic while staring at an unbelievably fit and ornately dressed instructor, Zumba, Dance Walk, and similar classes are not for you.

If you really want to exercise (and honestly everyone should do something if only to enable more junkfood binging), pick something you like doing. Don’t know what you like doing? Try stuff out. It won’t hurt you to get out of your comfort zone and try out an activity. If you don’t like it, stop and try something else. You’re more likely to stick with it if it doesn’t feel like torture. Unless you’re into that. If you are, the bulk of today’s fitness crazes seem matches made in heaven for you.

So will my recent dalliance with Zumba have me “beach ready” for the season? The idea of beach readiness is absurd — it’s as if we think some people don’t deserve to go to a beach and not think about all the things they want to change about their bodies. The key is to stop thinking of your body as your enemy and how someone could park a car in the shade of your ass. The key is to get moving, have fun, and don’t let the fear of what others think of your appearance stop you from living your damn life. Summer is short. Get out there.


Take Action!

Hat Tips:

Cleveland.comHuffington PostWebMDNew York Times, Image Credit: Flickr

Subscribe to get updates delivered to your inbox