How Your Supermarket Will Kill You

How Your Supermarket Will Kill You

Adrienne BoettingerTuesday,4 February 2014

The Snap:

Here at The Snap Download we are committed to telling you of all the many ways modern living will result in your untimely demise. It’s not really to help you be better prepared to survive; it’s more because we have high anxiety disorder and want someone else to be as worried as we are. Sentient robots, bears and snakes, cicadas, and much, much more give us the heebie-jeebies. With that in mind, let’s talk about how your Chinese New Year’s resolution maybe should be to not eat any food processed in China. Or maybe even amend that to not eating any processed food period.

The Download:

Whether it’s tales of lamb injected with bacteria-laden water, cooking oil collected from sewers and re-used, rats disguised as lamb or milk tainted with melamine, food safety reports aren’t usually good news stories when it comes to China. Countless Chinese citizens get incredibly sick each year from the food they purchase and eat; some even die.

The United States imports a buttload of food from China — for humans and their pets. Enjoy tilapia? It’s usually Chinese. Canned tuna, apple juice, mushrooms, dog treats; there’s very little you can buy in most supermarkets that aren’t somehow made or processed in China. And while you’ll sometimes see a “Made in China” label on food products, if imported goods are processed in any way, they are not legally required to be labeled with their country of origin.

Then again, it’s not like the United States does a fantastic job when it comes to food safety. It seems like every day there’s a new food recall: ham with listeria, soup with undeclared allergens, and spinach that will give you the diarrhea for days on end.

We never thought we’d be that type of people that eschew all processed foods while wearing Birkenstocks and clothes made out of hemp, but that seems like a better idea each day. When you learn that all of your food is allowed to have a certain amount of bug parts and rat feces, you lose your appetite pretty quickly.

Maybe this would be an even more effective diet than my recently proposed Guilt Diet (where you tell me what you like to eat and I’ll tell you how it’s evil and/or bad for you). Let’s take that a few steps further and only eat what you’re able to grow/butcher yourself and/or purchase from a business where you can personally view each phase of the food process. Hmmm…here’s another idea. Since alcohol kills germs (that’s why the doctors swab your arm with it before they give you a shot), maybe we need to increase our alcohol intake to kill all the germs lurking in our daily sustenance. Winning!

Take Action!

Hat Tips:

The AtlanticTimeJezebelHuffington PostThe GuardianTelegraphNew York TimesWall Street JournalPortlandiaFoodSafety.gov, Image Credit: Flickr



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