Adrienne BoettingerTuesday,26 November 2013

The Snap:

Black Friday starting on the actual day of Thanksgiving is a sign that human beings are the worst. Thanksgiving was the one holiday where people gathered with family, friends and communities to give thanks. On this day, we willingly lock ourselves in a room with our families and sharp knives, and most of the time the stab wounds are only accidental. There is a bit of magic in each bite of turkey; magic and delicious tryptophan. People seem to be kinder. Some soup kitchens almost have to turn away volunteers because so many people wanted to give back to those less fortunate. That’s all over now. Thanks, Corporate America!

The Download:

The signs were all there that the end of days was near: Sarah Palin, pajama jeans, government shutdowns, twerking – – the list goes on and on. Any doubt has been removed by the decision of countless stores to find another way to screw over their employees by satisfying consumeristas centered on scoring insane deals on crap that they won’t even remember they bought the following year. Stores like Wal-mart, Target, Sears, Kmart, Old Navy, Dick’s, Toys R Insanely Expensive, and Best Buy.

Some people have to work on the holidays: nurses, doctors, policemen and countless others on whom our society relies to function. I am unaware of any emergency situation that requires obtaining a big screen TV for $50. Here’s where you say, “Okay, pinko liberal, that’s all well and good but some people want to work in a big box store and earn that holiday pay.” To this I cry bullshit. I’d ask those people — the ones looking out for the good of their fellow man being able to make a little more than minimum wage endangering his life in a sale stampede — if they had asked their own bosses to give up their paid holidays so that they could not spend time with their families and instead earn more cash.

We’ve already established that I’m not a fan of Wal-mart so it’s probably no surprise that I’ll be eschewing their Thanksgiving sale. And honestly, hordes of shoppers scare the bejeezus out of me to the point where I’d rather wake up with my head sewn to the carpet than shop on Black Friday. But I encourage everyone to avoid shopping on Thanksgiving and to let their formerly favorite stores know why someone else will be getting their holiday dollars this season. We’ve already commercialized the crap out of Christmas; can we have one holiday that we don’t totally ruin with our vapid consumerism?

Want to shop somewhere that doesn’t suck? Try Costco, REI, Home Depot, Nordstrom, or the other fine institutions who aren’t actively contributing to the destruction of all that is good in this world. Even better, make more shopping days like Small Business Saturday by supporting businesses in your community. That way Thanksgiving can still be the day of pulling on your stretchiest eating pants and pulling up to the table with family and friends.


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Hat Tips:

Daily KosTimeHuffington Post, Image Credit: Flickr

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