Adrienne BoettingerFriday,22 November 2013

The Snap:

House Republicans have decided it’s time Food Banks earned their keep. Those profiteers were lying on blankets of money on white sand beaches until House Republicans took a stand by slicing a $5 billion chunk out of the Supplemental Nutrition and Assistance Program, or SNAP, on 1 November and proposing a bill to cut SNAP funding by $40 billion over 10 years. Now, Food Banks will have to get off their asses and magic up metric buttloads of food out of thin air — not just for Thanksgiving but probably much longer. Through all of this, two superstars really stand out: Paul “Dreamy Soulless Eyes” Ryan and Trey “Just Say Yes” Radel.  Way to go, patriots!

The Download:

One in seven Americans has been impacted by the 1 November SNAP cuts. Thank God we’ve done all we can to keep the poor from voting! Otherwise, elected officials in the states hardest hit in the SNAP reduction would have to spend valuable campaign ass-kissing time on the poor when it should be spent on PACs and wealthy constituents.

Of course, House Republicans didn’t do this all on their own. Kudos must be given to the whole of Congress for displaying a allergic aversion to passing a Farm Bill or really any legislation that would accomplish anything of substance.

It can be so easy to see this as a numbers game but we need to put a face on the acts of heroism from our Congresspersons. That’s why though This Month in Jackassery is going to all House Republicans, TSD would like Representatives Ryan and Radel to accept the award on behalf of their colleagues. Representative Radel of Florida (of course, it had to be Florida) is personally reducing the amount of drugs the poor can use not just by demanding that people on SNAP undergo drug testing but by valiantly using as many drugs as he can to keep them out of the hands of the poor.

Ryan is being singled out for his bold idea of replacing SNAP funding with dreams! That’s right, boys and girls, did you realize you can dream your way out of poverty? It will be much easier for you when you’re so hungry that you’re hallucinating. Ryan is almost doing the work for you!

The runner-up for This Month in Jackassery goes to all the pundits expounding about the poor needing to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. You’re probably thinking the poor will have a tough time doing so since they had to sell their boots to be able to feed their children, but really that’s just another opportunity to excel.

In all seriousness, our elected officials repeatedly fail the poor in the name of not giving free handouts. If only they had to look the children, elderly and disabled in the eyes when telling them to work harder to support themselves. Let’s help them do that by contacting our Reps and Senators about the human costs of their inaction. And since the corroded wheels of bureaucracy never work speedily, please donate funds, food or your time to a food bank or charity that supports the poor in your community.


Take Action!

Hat Tips:

SlateNew York TimesSF GateNPRProPublicaStatelinePoliticoSalon, Image Credit: Flickr


  1. […] while ago I was reading Adrienne’s views on the cuts to SNAP. I sent her a tweet that said I would be looking into this issue. What I found was that SNAP is the […]

  2. […] recently we nearly had dreamy eyed Paul Ryan. When not earnestly looking into a camera or trying to help the homeless dream the impossible dream, Representative Ryan is thinking up budgets too bold for mathematics or morals. Oh and being the […]

Subscribe to get updates delivered to your inbox