Adrienne BoettingerThursday,7 November 2013

The Snap:

Real campaign finance reform isn’t gonna happen. It’s not a sexy issue that can mobilize the masses and there are no lobbyists to lobby for an end to lobbying (say that 3x fast). Campaign finance reform has become the subject we bemoan during  statewide or nationwide campaigns and then forget within a week of the election as we try to block out all memories of the festival of pain we just endured.  Yet, campaign finance reform is the single most important policy issue facing the country. If we don’t fix it, everything else we do is a band-aid on the gaping chest wounds we’re enduring thanks to bloodsucking PACs. Is there any hope?

The Download:

When considering the enormity of the political hurdles facing the U.S. I feel like I’ve repeatedly hit myself in the head with a ball-peen hammer. This feeling is exacerbated by the realization that none of the ginormous problems we’re facing can be meaningfully addressed because there are PACs whose best interests are served by crushing our hopes and dreams, and too many politicians who are happy to take the money and become human roadblocks like the ball-less wonders that they are. Financial reforms? Immigration policy? Gun control? Health care? There is no issue too big or too small for a politician to find a way to come down on the profitable side of it and bankroll him or herself, as well as his or her campaign.

You want to play this way? Fine. All I’m asking for is some truth in advertising.

There isn’t a stadium, concert hall, charity event or park in this freaking country that doesn’t have corporate sponsorship. If our elected representatives are going to allow their votes to be co-opted by the highest bidder, they need to have it painted all over their clothes like they’re in the Tour de Fucking France.

When I Am Queen of Everything, each and every politician will have to either wear clothing or get tattoos indicating who they will be truly representing once we elect their asses. I’m not talking about a tasteful lapel pin or discreet hair accessory. I’m thinking neck or face tattoos but would also consider allowing sponsorships to be displayed prominently across the ass region of politicians’ pants/skirts, in neon or sequins.

You may wonder why I’ve got my royal knickers in a bunch since it’s a slow election year. Well, if I have to hear pundits galore ignoring my rule against mentioning the 2016 Presidential race THREE GODDAM YEARS BEFORE IT HAPPENS, then I’m going to start thinking how to make this more of a fair fight. Want to be bought and paid for by the Koch Brothers, Monsanto, Bank of America, etc.? Have at it. But before you do, determine on which prominently displayed body part you want your tattoo.

Do you know who is funding your elected officials? Check Open Secrets, brought to you by the Center for Responsive Politics.


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Hat Tips:

Represent.UsCBS NewsOpen Secrets, Image Credit: Flickr

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