Adrienne BoettingerFriday,7 June 2013

The Snap:

It’s too quiet in my neighborhood these days. My hysteria over the cicada infestation was unwarranted as the Baltimore-Washington area has generally been spared. Although I’m relieved, I feel somewhat cheated since according to the UN, I’m missing out on a wonderful source of protein: insects. Granted, it’s not just cicadas on the UN bug hit list but they are reportedly among the most delicious. If only I could get past the ick factor.

The Download:

Like most women I know, I have constantly been on some sort of diet in an attempt to downsize my ass and thigh region. Seemingly unrelated, but as a recovering Catholic I typically feel guilty for everything, even things far beyond my control like world hunger. This particular guilt stems from recent reading on global food problems, from how much food ends up in landfills to how many people are undernourished (approximately 868 million). These two factors—my perpetual desire to be thinner and my inherent sense of guilt—make me think the rest of the world has it right. Bring on the beetles!

Americans are generally goobed out by the idea of eating bugs. Yes, we know subconsciously that we’re eating scads of bug parts every day in the regular food we consume, but we try not to think about it too much. However, for about 2 billion people, bugs are regarded as a delicacy or even a dietary staple. A few adventurous Americans want to inspire us to join in the feast through events such as the 6th Annual Bug Eating Festival in Austin, Texas. Sadly, I don’t think current efforts are enough to make the average American pass up the value pack of 55 gajillion chicken wings at their local superstore for a tub of grubs.

What could work would be a celebrity-endorsed diet, something like Jennifer Aniston and the zone, Matthew McConaughey and the paleo, Ashton Kutcher and the fruitarian, and Glenn Beck and his steady diet of whale penises and kitten hearts. Pick whichever celeb is popular for a given month and have a cardboard cutout of him or her looking all skinny and gorgeous while chomping down on a cricket. Throw in some facts about eating insects—more protein and nutrients and less calories than beef or chicken—and figure out some insect recipes that don’t involve deep frying or sautéing in butter, and the bug diet would be all the rage.

P.S. Talk with a doctor before trying the fruitarian diet, as it landed Kutcher in the hospital. I can’t imagine actually becoming a fruitarian though as it would make me so angry to just eat fruit.  But as I’ve noted previously, “Angry Fruitarians” would make an excellent band name. Other good band names that I want to trademark include “Violent Chipmunk,” “Defrocked Nun,” and “Heavy Nun and da Boyz.”

P.P.S. For things you can do to stop food waste, check out sites like EPA, Food Recovery Network, and QUEST.

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Hat Tips:

Washington PostSalonMother Earth NewsNPRUN FAOJezebelThe AtlanticHowStuffWorksCosmopolitan, Image Credit: Flickr

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