Adrienne BoettingerFriday,12 April 2013

The Snap:

At an Outback Steakhouse in Orlando earlier this week, I had an exchange that made me wonder how we haven’t been tricked into selling America to a wily troll for a handful of magic beans. To set the scene, my sister and I were dining with our lovely but opinionated 85-year-old uncle. He was irked by the pitiful amount of salad dressing he received and wasn’t quiet about it. The waitress became flustered, apologized and offered to get him more dressing, but to no avail. She fled the scene but then returned quickly to explain to me what she thought was responsible for this egregious error: Obamacare.

The Download:

That’s right – she came back and asked me if I had heard of Obamacare. When I stared at her wondering what the hell she was saying, she mumbled something about how they probably had to give out less dressing because of Obamacare. I stared at her even harder and more dumbfounded, certain I must have misheard her but my sister confirmed that our waitress thought Obamacare would place limits on the amount of salad dressing one could consume. Somehow the fried onion appetizer, beer, bread and butter, steak and French fries were exempt, but the salad dressing went too far.

Is it just that we have the attention span of fruit flies and thus can’t grasp anything more complicated than scary, nonsensical, predictions of woe? Why does insane vitriol rise to the top if you can come up with a catchy term for it? Or is it that we rely more on the pitiful drivel put forward by the 24-hour noose cycle than we do data or logic?

The Affordable Care Act (aka Romneycare/Obamacare) is complex. Is some of it going to be crap? Probably. But guess what? So is leaving 47 million people uninsured (bt dubs, the insured end up footing the bill in the end). So is having a healthcare system so exorbitantly overpriced that one illness can bankrupt you and your entire family. So is wealthy, ex-Romney supporters refusing to offer healthcare coverage to their employees or claiming that Obamacare will pretty much destroy all that is good about America.

According to the Kaiser Foundation, only 37% of Americans are in favor of Obamacare but nearly 70% are on board when they actually listen to changes that will take place because of the law. Don’t feel like reading all 955 pages of Obamacare? Check out this helpful and somewhat entertaining explanation in The Atlantic, or this hilarious but not so helpful explanation from FunnyOrDie. Bottom line, dear deluded Outback waitress, no, Obamacare is not robbing my uncle of gobs of 1000 Island Dressing. It will just make you tell him how many calories and grams of fat are in it.

In closing: yes you can still eat bacon; no, there are no death panels; and yes, 1000 Island Dressing is disgusting.

Hat Tips:

PBS, The Colbert ReportWashington Post, Center for Disease Control, Time, Huffington Post, White House, The Atlantic, FunnyOrDie, Image Credit: Flickr

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