MOAR PROOF!

MOAR PROOF!

Hanes HallbirnSunday,3 February 2013

The Snap:

On Friday, the White House posted a photo of President Obama shooting a rifle on its official Flickr account. The photo, dated August 4, 2012, shows the President shooting clay targets while at Camp David, Maryland. The administration released the photo after a chorus of doubters — most notably Republican Representative Marsha Blackburn, The Washington Post, and Fox “News” — questioned whether Obama does “skeet shooting all the time,” as he claims in the latest issue of New Republic.

The Download:

Good for your, Mr. President. It sure took you a lot less time to release this photo than it did your birth certificate (which some crazy-ass birthers like Donald Trump and Joe Arpaio still believe is fake). I hope this is the start of a new trend, one that all public figures will adhere to. And so, I’d like to demand MOAR PROOF of the following:

1. Documentation from a medical professional clearing NRA head Wayne LaPierre of amnesia, given his 180 degree positions on mandatory background checks.

2. Psychological assessments of the entire Fox “News” team, ruling out a collective state of severe depression, now that Obama’s skeet shooting photo has been released.

3. Forensic evidence proving that the thing on Donald Trump’s head is in fact human hair, since he’s suing people about a related issue.

4. The results of Manti Te’o’s Wonderlic Test from the NFL Scouting Combine, to ensure that the league isn’t putting a mentally challenged person in a bad position.

5. X-ray proof proving that Kim Kardashian’s ass does not contain implants (oh wait, that happened).

While Kim K is off the hook given her photo evidence, I expect documentation pertaining to items 1-4 within one week. That means LaPierre, Trump and Fox “News” have until February 10th, and the NFL has until March 5th (seven days after the end of the Combine).

Tick tock, guys. I’m waiting.

 


Hat Tips:

Mashable, Urban DictionaryThe Washington Post, New Republic, Huffington Post, Image Credit: Flickr

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